Do I have anxiety? What even is it? Why am I so anxious?

13th December 2023 by Natalie

Everyone experiences anxiety at some point and it's a good job too! A little bit of worry often stops us getting into big trouble! Having a sudden rush of anxious energy when the fire alarm goes off is what gets us moving out of the building. Feeling anxious about an upcoming exam is what motivates us to revise and do well.

But sometimes anxiety can get a bit too big and powerful in our lives. We can find ourselves worrying about things in a big way, a lot of the time which disrupts our day (often our night too) and stops us living our lives in the way we would want. The NHS defines anxiety as "a natural response to pressure, feeling afraid or threatened, which can show up in how we feel physically, mentally and how we behave". Yes, you read it right, it's natural, we were designed to feel anxious.

Back when humans were cavemen, there wasn't much else to do aside from learn how to make fire and try and not to be killed. Unfortunately, there were lots of things around that thought our caveman would make a tasty dinner (I always imagine a Bear- don't quote me on historical accuracy of specific predators!) and so the caveman needed to stay on guard for possible threats. If the caveman wasn't very good at this, he ended up dead. So, the brain developed to be very good at trying to keep us safe and still does this for us today. It scans our surroundings, not so much for bears, but for other things that might harm us here in 2023. Unfortunately, sometimes our brain gets a bit too enthusiastic about this job and leads us to think something is really scary, when in reality it's not a huge threat. We feel all the same feels the caveman would have when confronted by Mr Bear. Our palms might get sweaty, our heart beats fast, butterflies appear in our tummies and so on.

When I worked with young people, I used to ask them to think about anxiety as a bit similar to a fire alarm... in an ideal world it would only sound when there was a real genuine danger. But we all know that sometimes fire alarms go off when Mrs. Jones has burnt the toast in the staffroom, or some of the older kids are smoking in the toilets. Neither poses any genuine danger to us, but our response to hearing the alarm is the same as if there were a real fire. If we're really unlucky the alarm will just keep going off every now and then for reason's we're not sure about. One of the key ways we help in therapy is to help you quiet down that ringing and if you want, also think about what could be causing it to keep going off. Sometimes, discovering the reasons why something might be happening can be really helpful in itself.

Everyone's experience of anxiety and panic is different. Somone's headache is another person's upset stomach is another person's grumpy and withdrawn Some of the most common symptoms are:

Faster breathing
Sweating and hot flushes
Sleep problems, perhaps struggling to fall or stay asleep. Some people find anxiety exhausting and may find themselves sleeping much more
Feeling sick, or as if there are butterflies in their stomach
Eating less or more than usual
Feeling tense, on edge and being irritable with others
Having a sense of dread, as if something really bad is about to happen
Wanting lots of reassurance from others, perhaps asking the same questions over and over again
Thinking about a situation over and over again. Perhaps wondering if you said, or did the 'right' thing and what others might have thought of you
Avoiding the things that make you worry, turning down invitations to see friends
Trying to make yourself feel better with alcohol or other substances

How many of those did you nod your head too? Can you think of any other things that happen to you which are not on the above list?

For more information on the effects of anxiety visit .

If you're thinking that now is the time for you to have some support with your anxiety and reclaim some of your life I would love to hear from you. Contact me to arrange a free 15 minute call.